Secret Keeper by Danielle Burns

And Yes, I am the housekeeper. Chief cook and bottle washer – that’s me too. We all know I live to do laundry! And while we’re at it  – any gardening, tidying, cleaning or shopping that needs to be done hey, I’m your girl!

But why stop there? It’s a well-known fact that a busy woman gets things done. So please, leave all the ledger balancing, bill paying and debt collecting to me. Why waste your precious time queuing at banks or post offices when you have your own personal bookkeeper?

Don’t fret about keeping track of your own belongings. Need your passport, birth certificate or drivers’ license – right this minute? Looking for lost toys, shoes or marbles? Lost your keys, wallet or phone? Rely on me to find everything for you. It’s simply a matter of looking through women’s eyes.  No problems, I’ll be the safe keeper.

We all know family life can be fraught with difficulties, leave it to me to sort out any pesky arguments. Smoothing and soothing is second nature for me. Knowing everyone’s triggers, talents and limits is my specialty. I will step in and solve those problems while making sure everyone gets a turn. You know me – peacekeeper extraordinaire.

Got something you need to get off your chest? Pull up a chair and I’ll put the kettle on. Need some advice about relationships? From school friends, boyfriends, girlfriends to exes, in-laws or even outlaws, I’m an expert listener and my ears are always open. It’s a late night, early morning no questions asked lifetime service. I’ll always be your secret keeper.

This is my voice